I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to remember this year as one full of constant reminders to “Keep Calm” or pictures of everyone’s boring-ass lunch on my newsfeed. People, we have 6 months left. It’s time to stop contributing to the worst trends of 2013 and make 2014 a year to look forward to.
Why, oh why, are people wearing cheap lenseless glasses and calling it a fashion trend? There are just way too many problems with this. First of all, if you are wearing contact lenses and lenseless glasses at the same time, you are the biggest contradiction who ever lived. Scientific evolution has graced us with Acuvue and surgeries that make glasses avoidable…and there is not one single reason to wear them unless your eyesight deems it necessary. No matter how many hipster-esque selfies you take, you’re not fooling anyone. We know you can see perfectly fine without them and are laughing at you.
The fact that the words “Instagram” and “culture” can even be used together and make sense is frightening. As much as this may surprise Instagram cult members, 99% of the public does not care the slightest bit about what you are eating or wearing. And they especially don’t care about what you’re wearing while you eat. It doesn’t matter how many filters you use: your artistically photographed meal doesn’t look like it tastes any better and your outfit is still unimpressive. Save your Instagrams for something cool. As a reference point, the only way your lunch is cool is if you’re enjoying it with all 5 members of NSYNC while convincing them to do a reunion tour.
“Keep Calm And…” – Okay but where did this even come from? You can literally “Keep Calm” while doing anything and everything. It was once cool to “Keep Calm and Carry On,” however, this has passed. If anyone out there really needs constant reminders to “Keep Calm,” “keep” it to yourself. No one cares that you altered the original to suit your life. Say goodbye to this phrase and “carry on” please.
Jumpsuits are actually really cute, but the majority of us short people have difficulty finding ones that don’t make us look proportionally confused. Until some brave designer creates jumpsuits for not-so-tall women, they should stop being made in general. It makes us very jealous that we can’t indulge in this trend like our tall friends can. If you’re tall, my advice is to stop wearing jumpsuits in 2014 in order to downsize the fashion-envy among your height-challenged friends. Like me.
Hashtagging on Facebook
It just doesn’t work. Literally, it doesn’t work. Facebook does not turn your hashtag into a link…it just looks like a silly typo. #And #Hashtagging #Every #Word, #Like #This, no matter the medium, is pointless and makes your followers uncomfortable. In 2014 let’s vow to return the use of the hashtag to its original purpose: creating a link that allows others to click it, and see what others are saying about the same topic. Now that sounds nice, doesn’t it?
Reform is necessary, and we are the only ones who provide it. Don’t be a continuous victim of the terrible trend cycle. There’s a point where you need to stand up, take off your lenseless glasses and keep everything BUT calm…and the time is now.
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I’m Gina, and I’m majoring in Media Studies at Quinnipiac University ’14. I love working out, eating peanut butter, jewelry shopping, and the smell of tanning lotion.Read more from this author…